You Know You’re Broke If…

You Know You’re Broke If…

• …Your latte’ bill is as vente’ as your car payment.
• …You get Christmas cards from the state lottery.
• …If you paid more for your car than your house.
• …If most of the clothes in your closet still have the tags on them.
• …If you have no change left under the couch cushions.
• …If you go to the title pawn shop and the only title you have is the title of that great American novel you’ve been planning to write.
• …Your bologna has no first name.
• …You are living paycheck to paycheck.
• …Your “Investment Portfolio” consists of lottery tickets and beanie babies.
• …You have more car payments than people in your family.
• …You just know you have money left in the checking account because you still have checks left.
• …The shoes in your closet are worth more than your 401k.
• …You still think that “interest only” mortgage was a good deal.
• …You make $40,000 a year and drive a $50,000 car.
• …You are planning a heist at the local food bank.
• …You are only paying the minimum payment on your credit cards every month.
• …If you are using credit cards
• …If you give blood just for the free snacks.
• …You let the electric company cut your service off because you are “going green”.
• …You were escorted out of the KFC because you were licking other people’s fingers.
• …You comfort yourself by saying “Mo’ money, mo’ problems”.
• …You look in the floor of your car for fast food money.
• …You look in the floor of your car for fast food.
• …You tell your kids “it’s not that moldy”.
• …Your idea of feeding the poor is making yourself lunch.
• …You use all of your income tax refund and it doesn’t even make a dent in your debt.
• …You use your income tax refund to incur more debt (car payment, boat payment, etc.)
• …You ate your cheerios with water this morning.
• …the guy at the check cashing store knows you by name.
• …if you stopped on a dime you’d double your net worth.
• …quarters are like gold.
• …You are watering down the ketchup.
• …You wish you had a fancy wardrobe like Larry the Cable guy.
• …You’ve spent so much on clothes that Mr. Blackwell is envious.
• …Your credit card company calls to say “enough already!”.
• …You make a trip to the pawn shop to visit all your stuff.
• …You can’t pay attention or the piper either.
• …You send in the minimum payment on the credit card that you used to pay the minimum payment on the other credit card.
• …You can’t even qualify for a library card.
• …If you took out a 50 year mortgage because “the payment is lower”.
• …If you are still sending in car payments and your car has over 200,000 miles on it.
• …if you have seriously thought about selling the kids…. or at least renting them out.
• …If you have three closets full of clothes and “nothing to wear”.
• …If you find yourself googling “recipes for roadkill”.
• …If your tires are balder than your grandfather.
• …If you’re reusing your coffee grounds.
• …If you are brewing your own coffee and putting it in a starbucks cup complete with cardboard sleeve.